


save my soul and lead me home.

by wandererghost



Category: Runaways (Comics), Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Runaways AU, in which Karolina is an artist because nothing convinces me otherwise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-23 03:41:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20001754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wandererghost/pseuds/wandererghost
Summary: ''...Sometimes I wish you two could get locked up together so you could work on your issues cause honestly, that break up was just something you could very well have avoided and gotten through if you just communicated...''orKarolina and Nico had ''broken up'' and it's been five months since, so Gert is tired of a grumpy Nico and might have plotted to kind of lock them up together so they could work on their issues.





	save my soul and lead me home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, apparently I'm a sucker for angts so here's more of it.  
> Forewarning: angts. 
> 
> Also, title comes from the song: Be good to me - Jacob Banks.

Where are we going anyway?” Nico said while she kept eating her ice cream, unbothered by Gert’s rambling about some thing Nico wasn’t really paying attention about.  
  


“Okay, first” Gert stopped and put a hand to her chest. “It’s a very rude gesture to interrupt someone while they’re speaking about how our college is just a big fraud, I almost made an essay there…”   
  


“Trust me, I know” Nico rolled her eyes, fully aware of Gert’s usual ways.  
  


Gert resumed walking and adjusted her glasses. “Anyway, and second, we’re just going to go get Chase and then pick something up” She brushed it offhandedly.  
  


“At this hour?”   
  


“They’re a 24h place” She shrugged.  
  
It was 8:15pm and they were currently walking in the LA streets, the night was really chilly and honestly, it seemed like it would start to rain anytime now. They just got out from their night classes and met at Elsa’s Frogurt because Gert had told Nico earlier that day that she urgently needed her company while she “picked something up”, something that Nico had no idea what was about and was seriously thinking that maybe it could be drugs. I mean, in the streets at night to pick something up? It seemed quite suspicious.  
  
“Are we getting drugs?” Nico suddenly asked.  
  
Gert laughed out loud and shook her head. “Although I'm interested to know why that was your first thought, I’m also disappointed. Do you really think I would get drugs from some stranger in the streets? Are you crazy?”   
  
“I don't know, yesterday you said that you couldn’t find your anxiety meds and you were starting to believe they’re lost and it would take you a few days to get new ones” She shrugged, blushing at her own question. Of course they weren't getting drugs, of course, she already knew that.  
  
“But that doesn't mean I would immediately replace them by inhaling cocaine or injecting myself heroin” She laughed again. “I can do without my meds for a few days, Nico”   
  
They turned around and saw that Chase’s jeep was already crossing the street and pulled in front of them. He rolled down the window and smiled.   
  
“Hey, ladies. Were you waiting for too long?” He asked, concerned immediately shown on his face, looking around the streets to see if someone was around.  
  
“Actually, we just got here” Gert walked around the jeep and opened the door to the front sit. Nico sat in the back seat in the middle of them, getting her phone out and replying to Amy’s last text. “Hey” once Gert was seated, she reached out and kissed Chase hello.  
  
“Ugh. Gross. I did not want to see that today” Nico complained, not looking up from her phone.  
  
“Suck it up” Gert said with a smile. “You know what Nico just suggested?”   
  
“What?” Chase was one of those careful drivers that didn't want to get his eyes off the road, so talking to him while he was driving was rather pointless.  
  
“That I’d get drugs from some stranger in the streets so I could somehow support the already broken society, just to relax cause I lost my meds. As if I would ever do that” She giggled.

“Oh my god” Nico whispered, rolling her eyes. She shouldn't have said anything. 

“But you did do that once...” Chase said, still looking at the road and frowning.

Nico opened her eyes in disbelief. “She did what?”

“Yeah, one time in high school. She was so desperate and far too deep inside her own head that she called me at 2am on a tuesday so we could drive around the city until we found a drug dealer and we bought weed” He had a confused expression. 

Gert gasped and hit Chase on the arm. “Oh my god, Chase! That was just one time!” 

“Still” He shrugged and laughed, stealing glances at a shook Gert and continuing laughing. “Man, that night…” 

“Oh my god Chase, I swear if you finish that sentence, it’ll be your last one ever said” Gert dead stared at him. 

“Fine, fine” He giggled. They spent the rest of the way in silence until Chase pulled in front of an apartment complex. “We’re here. I’m not going up, say hello from me” 

“To whom?” Nico asked. “Where exactly are we?” 

The building looked quite expensive to be honest and it was located in one of the finest area of the city, so who did Gert know that lived here and what was she picking up?

“Will do” Gert said, kissing Chase on the cheek and getting out of the car. 

Nico followed her and Gert pushed the button on the comm that was labeled K.D. She saw Gert getting out her phone and texting someone. It was just a mundane thing to do, but Nico felt as if her stomach just dropped when she saw the initials.  _ K.D _ . how curious, they’re the same ones as…

The person on the other line didn't answer, but rather just opened the door because the front door of the building emitted a sound and opened. 

“Okay. Let’s go” She said, keeping her phone in her back pocket. 

“Who are we meeting?” Nico asked while she followed Gert to the elevator. She saw her pushing the L button and getting out her phone again “Gertttt” She complained, the mystery was killing her.

She sighed. “Shh, we’re almost there” She said while she kept texting someone. 

The elevator's doors opened on a hallway with only two doors. 213 and 214. Gert walked straight ahead to the 214 door, got out a key from her back pocket and opened the door as if the floor belonged to her. 

“I don't understand, did you move? When did you move? Is this your new apartment?” Nico kept asking, by now she was just frustrated.

Gert sighed again. “Wait, I forgot something on Chase’s car. Let me go get it first and I swear, I’ll explain you everything later” She hurried saying.

“No, what the hell? Are you leaving me here on some stranger’s apartment?” Nico crossed her arms.

“Just for a few seconds, I swear. Now can I go and get it real quick?” She adjusted her glasses and stared at Nico with those puppy eyes. 

Nico sighed and nodded. “Fine, go get it” She rolled her eyes.

“Great, I’ll be back in a second” She said and got into the elevator again. Nico watched the doors closing and and heard the elevator going down.

Great, now she was indeed in between the hallway and some stranger’s apartment. What was the thing that Gert had to pick up that required going to the person’s home, have a key of it and needed her company? Honestly, Nico couldn't place it into something that made sense, so she stood awkwardly there and thinking the many possible things of what could be until she heard something that iced her blood and stopped her heart. 

“Gert? Why would you leave the door open?!” 

Nico didn't know what to do, she just stood there frozen now. She should have known something was up when she saw the initials  _ K.D _ , as in  _ Karolina Dean. _ The same owner of the voice she had just heard a second ago. She contemplated the idea of running away and call the elevator and get out of there as soon and as fast as possible, and maybe she was about to do so, but honestly she just had a second to think about it until the owner of the voice came into view and took Nico’s breath away.

She was wearing light blue jeans, socks, a white, loose shirt and her hair was up in a messy bun, looking as if she just got out of work and recently got home. Her face was still covered in light makeup and in her hand there was a white mug of coffee that said  _ no, you're not the light of the world, but you shine on me _ . 

Nico swallowed, her hands were suddenly sweating and her heart was beating too fast now. She focused on the mug though, she remembered picking it up from the store where she had it made, she remembered putting it on a box and giving it to her on a night just like this one, in which she just had got out of work and got home too tired to move so Nico made her tea and gave it to her in her new mug. Karolina was so confused on why her girlfriend was giving her a box if she just said that she was getting her tea, but Nico remembered the face of love and adoration when Karolina opened the box and saw the mug.

Now, the same face that used to look at her with love and adoration, is now looking at her with, probably, the same expression that Nico had. Confusion, shock, amazement, incredulity…

“What are you doing here?” Karolina asked. Nico noticed that her voice was now guarded and insecure, instead of how freely and carefree she had just shouted now when she thought that Gert was around. 

And why was Nico noticing these things? Her mouth was suddenly dry and she had to clear her throat. “Um, I-I came here with Gert” She cleared her throat again. 

Karolina slowly nodded. “And where is she?” She looked around and her eyes landed on Nico again. “She told me she was coming by to pick up her other pair of glasses but I don't see her” 

Nico nodded, of course. They haven't seen or talked to each other in five fucking months after their break up and of course, after so long, this is what they would be talking now. Nico wanted to laugh but instead, she just shrugged. “She told me she forgot something on Chase’s car and went down to get it”

“Okay” Karolina nodded and kept looking at Nico as if Nico wasn't really there, as if Nico wasn't even real and standing right in front of her. 

And Nico couldn't take the awkward silence anymore. Karolina seemed nervous and unsteady and just kept looking at the elevator’s lighted arrow to see if it was coming up, but the more she looked at it, the more the awkward silence grew. Until it was abruptly interrupted by the crash of the rain finally coming down. 

Karolina cleared her throat and looked at Nico again. “Would you… Um, would you like to go inside? Maybe we could call Gert and see where she is… I-I mean, if that's okay with you” She hurried saying. 

She knows she should decline, that she should stay there and wait for Gert to arrive, she knows that being around Karolina again counted as a bad idea… But still, everything in her being was screaming to accept the offer, to be overwhelm by Karolina again even if it hurt her. She saw the mug and Karolina followed her eyes. And like Nico was good at making bad decisions…

“Sure, I’ll try to call her” She muttered. Avoiding Karolina’s gaze.

Karolina entered her apartment and Nico followed her, maintaining her distance. Karolina’s apartment was a graphic description of Karolina herself. Nico had shared an apartment with her five months ago when they were still together, but it didn't have much decoration really. Mostly because they were both busy with college and homeworks or work, to actually care for decorations. But now Karolina’s was fully decorated with her essence and it made Nico stare at it in awe. 

All the furniture was made of light brown wood, except for the couch and armchairs that were brown-ish leather. The carpet was a big mandala made out of warm colors and there were pictures hanging on the wall that Nico was sure Karolina had painted them. She had the loft floor of the building, so Nico could see that the wall was really just windows that blurred the image and had a door to her own terrace. There were some plants here and there with knitted decorations all around the living room, all white in contrast with warm colors. Yep. Definitely Karolina herself. 

Nico approached to the nearest book shelf, there was some crystals, candles, Karolina’s camera, some books all around and some framed pictures of Karolina and Gert. Karolina, Gert and Chase. Karolina with her parents. Molly was also there. There was a photo of their whole group when they were in high school, and also a framed photo of Karolina and her, they were both in a field full of sunflowers and Karolina was hugging Nico. That was Nico’s favorite photo and the day they officially became a couple. 

Nico swallowed and looked away. She got out her phone and dialed Gert’s number but it didn't even ring. 

“I don't have signal” Nico muttered. She was fully aware that Karolina was now sitting on the armchair, looking at Nico and still holding her mug. That damn mug. “Do you?” 

She took out her phone from her back pocket and frowned. “No, I don't… It must be the storm” 

Storm? Nico was so caught up in her head and Karolina’s presence that she didn't even acknowledge the storm happening outside. It was weird, they were in LA, they didn't get storms here and now she was trapped in one with no one but her ex. What are the odds? None. She knew this and Gert played her. It was typical Gert, getting Nico somewhere she didn't know about only to find out that Gert took her to the place Nico needed to go or get something done.

“Great, and I don't think she’s coming up either” Nico rolled her eyes.

Karolina frowned. “Why not?” 

_ (Nico remembered a few days ago, when she was in the college’s campus. It was a fine afternoon, the sun was warming her skin as she was sitting cross legged in the blanket she had brought. Gert and Chase were in front of her, Chase was sleeping and Gert was laid on his stomach, reading a book.  _

_ Meanwhile, Nico was busying herself staring at the people walking by, but apparently she couldn't see nothing but couples and a sudden rage filled her. _

_ “Goddammit, can they take their love away?” She muttered out loud, watching two girls kissing few feet away from them. _

_ Gert looked up from her book and stared at her, lifting an eyebrow. “What happened there, Grinch?”  _

_ “Those two don't stop their PDA, and it's getting on my nerves. Don't they know they're in public?” She complained, looking at them with a frown on her face. _

_ “You and Karolina used to forget about that as well” She shrugged. “Love does that”  _

_ In that moment, Nico felt as if a cold dagger just entered her heart. “Please don't remind me of that”  _

_ “It's the truth. Besides, if you don't mind me saying, sometimes I wish you two could get locked up together so you could work on your issues cause honestly, that break up was just something you could very well have avoided and get through if you just communicated. Besides, splitting myself in two just so I can be friends with both of you, it’s really exhausting” _

_ “You're right. I do mind you're saying” Nico shot back, suddenly defensive. _

_“Alright, I just mean that you don't have to be bitter at other people’s love just because you ruined your own love life”)_

Nico shook her head. “No reason” She said. After doubting for a moment, she decided to go ahead and sit on the couch, in front of Karolina.

When she did so, Karolina looked at her puzzled, but kept drinking silently from her mug. It all was making Nico anxious and at the same time, in some strange sense, as if she was finally coming home, and that thought scared her the most. 

“So, nice mug” She muttered and smiled, feeling so awkward.

Karolina returned the smile and Nico’s heart ached. “Thanks. I think it's a little bit cheesy though but…” 

Nico incredulously laughed. “You don't mean that” 

“No, I don't. I love it. Thank you” She softly said in her usual raspy and low voice. 

By this point, Nico didn't know if her heart was racing or have stopped working at all now; because truth be told, she was still very much in love with the girl sitting in front of her. Karolina was the one that made her heart race and her thoughts dispersed, she was the one Nico thought of before bed and the face she wanted to see in the mornings. And even after five months, Karolina was still the one, she was  _ it  _ for Nico and now thinking about their break up, maybe Gert was right and it all could have been avoided by just simply communicating instead of having a big fight and never talk after that. It was childish and stupid, and Nico thought they were better than that but it seems like a simply big fight, broke them apart. 

“You know” Karolina said, putting the mug aside and making a head gesture towards Nico. “You can take off your backpack. It seems like you're gonna be here for awhile” 

Nico did so and put her phone on the coffee table. “You have a really nice apartment, Karrie” She said, the nickname escaping her lips before she could check what she was saying first. “I’m sorry” 

Karolina shook her head and smiled. “That’s okay. And thanks, I bought it with the money I got from my last gallery” 

“How was it? I know you were really worried and so stressed about it and…” She cut herself off. Karolina’s stress about that last gallery was one of the main reasons for their breakup.

She lowered her head. “It was good, actually it was excellent. I sold everything and even got petitions for more. I worked on those until I sold them and now the company hired me to make their sculptures” She smiled.

“That’s awesome!” And now Nico was smiling too because she couldn't help it, Karolina’s energy affected hers in such a deep level she doesn't even begin to comprehend. “I’m really proud of you. That's all you've ever wanted” 

She slowly nodded. “Yeah…” But her voice was sad, and Nico couldn't help but wonder what was on her mind right now. “It’s not everything” She sighed.

Nico opened her mouth to say something else until she heard that last thing and her heart jumped.  _ It’s not everything _ . What can she reply to that? She cleared her throat again. “So, um… What are you working on, right now?”

In a soft but fast motion, Karolina undid her bun, letting her hair fall freely down her shoulders. It was a little bit shorter than Nico remembered. She passed a hand through it to comb it and then stood up. “Follow me” She muttered and started walking, not waiting for Nico to stand up. 

Karolina took them to what Nico thought it was her studio. The rooms were of cream color with some paints splattered on it, you'd think it was unintentionally but knowing Karolina, probably she made it look that way. There were unfinished pictures here and there and some were covered with white sheets. The floor was also covered in white sheets. There was a drawing table at one corner with lots of paper sheets, a book shelf with too many cans of paint and brushes and right at the middle of the room stood the sculpture that Karolina was currently working on.

It was a weird figure and caught Nico’s attention for a long minute. She just stood there, silently staring at it and trying to make sense of it. It was a figure of two people intertwining to create one person. After a while, she finally understood what it was and incredulously smiled. She knew Karolina was amazing at art, but seeing it with her own two eyes after so long, kind of unbalanced her.

“I’m still working on it…” Karolina said after noticing Nico’s lack of verbal response for a long time. 

“What? I’m sorry… I was just admiring it. You’re really talented... this is such a masterpiece, Karrie” She muttered, still in awe for the sculpture.

Nico turned around to see her and noticed how Karolina strongly blushed at her words but was failing miserably at trying to hide it. She looked down and then up again, smiling. Nico might have forgotten during all those months she spent without looking at her ex girlfriend directly, the fact that Karolina is just so attractive to her, and so aesthetically pleasing to watch from every angle.

“Thanks” she whispered. 

Nico also noticed how she lightly bit her lip and lifted her hand to scratch the back of her neck, looking at something behind Nico with a calm expression. It all was producing funny feelings in Nico’s stomach. Feelings she was very much familiar with but haven’t felt in a long time. 

“I…” Karolina started to say the moment the power went out. The storm was now raging furiously. “Great… I, um… I’ll light some candles” She turned on the flashlight of her phone and got out of the room. 

Not a minute later, she came back with two lighted candles. One for her and one for Nico. She gave it to her and got out again. If someone had told her two days ago that she would be in Karolina’s new apartment while a storm hit the city and there wouldn't be electricity… She would’ve laughed wholeheartedly. But there she was. In Karolina, a.k.a her ex girlfriend’s apartment with no electricity and no way to get out just yet. 

Nico wandered around the room for a little bit, lighting her way with the candle. She was very much aware that her phone was now in her back pocket, and she could easily just grab it and turn the flashlight on, it would definitely light more than the candle but… There was something special with candles, they gave off some kind of vibe that Nico liked.

She approached the unfinished paintings just when Karolina returned to the studio and Nico tensed again at her presence. 

“You can look at them if you want to” She whispered. Now that there wasn't the constant noise of electricity buzzing all the time, the rain sounded louder and Karolina’s presence heavier.

She nodded and uncovered one of the paintings. It was a human face with robotic features but half of it was falling into pieces. Nico knew that the painting probably had a deeper meaning, Karolina hardly ever created something meaningless. She covered it and moved on to the next one. This time, it was an underwater wave but half of it was still in blank… Nico sensed Karolina slowly crossing the room and standing right behind her. She felt the sudden rush of a heat wave running through her body the moment she felt Karolina’s nearness.

“I haven't had the time to finish that one, it isn't a request so I’ve been taking my time. Though I was thinking on going to the beach and finish it there. It’s a wave after all and maybe I would get the colors right if I’m there” She whispered, so damn close to Nico. 

“Hmm” Nico didn't want to be rude but honestly, she couldn't quite form a coherent sentence right now. Instead, she turned around just a bit so that she could look at her.

In the candle lights, Karolina seemed to glow with golden lights. Her eyes were sparkling and she had that lopsided smile that Nico always loved to erase with a kiss. Her hair was a decent mess and it reminded Nico the times Karolina used to have bed hair right after… Wait, why was she thinking about these things? 

“I have a couple more over there but they’re just sketches now and…” Karolina looked down and her calm aura, suddenly turned nervous. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” 

Nico slowly smiled but didn't answer right away, still looking at Karolina. Mostly because she loved it when Karolina got nervous because of her. Old habits are hard to break. “Like what?” She whispered, not taking her eyes away from her.

Nico perfectly saw how she swallowed and shyly smiled, strongly blushing again. “Anyway, let’s go back to the living room. I wouldn't like to get my paintings on fire here by the way you’re holding that candle” She smiled and turned around, leading the way out. 

Nico silently cheered her victory. Karolina was making her react in ways she forgot she could. In the five months they've been apart, Nico wasn't even close to feel the things that Karolina so naturally makes her feel, even though she went out with an attractive girl once, the whole time Nico was just checking her phone and waiting for the night to be over. So now she was just acting on instinct.

Karolina had lighted the room by putting candles here and there, illuminating the entire living room. She placed the candle on the coffeetable and Nico did the same, sitting once again on the couch, in front of Karolina, who chose to sit on the armchair.

“So… I never thought this would ever happen” Nico suddenly said, she was really conscious of herself now.

“Really? Ever?” Karolina asked and Nico just nodded. “So you never thought you would see me again?”

“I mean, sometimes it seemed like you disappeared in thin air…”

“That was what you wanted to happen, wasn't it?” She asked in a defensive and cold tone. 

Oh no, here comes the conversation she always thought about and definitely dreaded.

“I never wanted that, Karrie. You know that” Her hands were sweating and the storm was raging. Suddenly it wasn't just another normal tuesday.

“That's the thing, I don't. Because you decided that leaving me was better than telling me that” She lifted an eyebrow.

Nico laughed dryly. “I left you? Karrie, you were leaving me out of anything even when we were together…”

“Let’s not start pointing fingers at each other. We both know where we failed” She said, standing up from the armchair. “Do you want some tea?” 

“No thanks. And don't change the topic” She grunted.

“What is there to talk about, Nico? Other than pointing out the things that went wrong without actually doing anything about them now” Karolina shrugged and looked away. Her eyes were crystalized. “You have hurt me enough”

Nico felt a lump in her throat at hearing that, she tried to swallow but it felt dry. “I’m hurting too” She admitted. 

“Yeah, but if it weren't for Gert wanting to pick up her glasses and bringing you along, we wouldn't even be here right now having this conversation, so neither of us didn’t look up the other to actually have that conversation because we both wanted to amend things. See my point?” She sounded tired now, as if she just wanted to get done with all of it.

“I get it, and I’m 100% sure that it was Gert’s plan to get us together so we could work something out…” She muttered.

“Okay, but do you want to?” She interrupted her “Remember the reasons why you left, and yes Nico, you left. Cause I remember you gathering all your stuff and just leaving the apartment and never coming back. Remember all the reasons you did that and honestly tell me if you want to work it out… After five months…” She sighed and thoughtfully looked at Nico, waiting for an answer.

Under that stare, Nico felt the butterflies buzzing around in her stomach once again, she also felt her heart beating too fast than normal and her hands kept sweating. She remembered being done with Karolina’s moods and stress, all the times they would so easily get into a fight just because they were both on edge and the only way to uncharge, was to yell at each other. Until Nico couldn't take the negative energies anymore, she felt like drowning and cohibited and trapped and if she needed space to breathe, so she left. Though she didn't count on the fact that she wouldn't be ready to come back, and after that, five months of loneliness and emptiness and feeling like a big part of her was missing all the time, passed and just like that, she stopped knowing anything about Karolina at all, except for the things that Gert occasionally told her. 

Nico sighed and Karolina did too. She went to the kitchen and started to make noise at opening and closing some shelves. Nico stood up from the couch and went to one of the corners of the living room, next to the crystalized door was a picture that left Nico speechless.

It was her, but if someone else would look at the picture, it’ll never crossed their mind that it was Nico. Karolina had painted a plaza and Nico was sitting under the tree with her sunglasses on and reading a book. It was in the middle of spring quite a few years ago and that moment was marked in their story as the day they shared their first kiss and as the day Nico knew that she was in love with her best friend… And Karolina painted that. There weren’t any photos of that day, yet Karolina painted every detail, very accurate as how Nico remembered. 

She swallowed and kept looking at the picture that she didn’t even notice Karolina entering the living room again. 

“What do you think of it?”

“What?” Once again, Nico was caught off guard.

“The painting. What do you think of it?” 

Nico sighed and turned to look at the painting once again. She thought about all those lonely nights she spend just wishing to be next to Karolina’s presence again, wishing to make it all alright, regretting her poor decision making and hating herself for not having the strength to come back to her. Then, she looked at Karolina in all her golden lights, her tired and confused eyes, her messy and wavy hair due to the bun, her work clothes and the mug that Nico gave her that was full of tea. She thought about the reasons she left, which were kinda childish really. In that moment, the stress and tension and anxiety and confusion and fights were more than she could handle at the time, so that’s why she left but now, looking directly at the love of her life, Nico knew that if Karolina took her back, she wouldn't feel worthy of her because her choice of leaving her was so stupid and idiotic in the first place…

“Look Karrie, I know what I want. Well, I know now and I know it took me five months and…”

“Nico don’t do this… Don’t do this if you don’t mean every word and you’re just saying that cause you’re nostalgic or...” She swallowed and looked away.

Nico swallowed the lump in her throat, felt her hands shaking and impossibly heavier. “That’s not… Um” She felt so vulnerable right now, with the power out, the rain crashing down above them and only the candles to light the room. She sighed and tried again. “Those last two months were unbearable, you know they were. There were too much negative energies all the time. We were constantly fighting… S-something that we have never done before. We were stressed out and yelling at each other all the time…” She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to push all those memories away. “It got to the point in which we couldn’t sleep on the same bed some nights and one of us had to sleep on the couch… Karrie, we really were in a bad place and it was hurting us and I didn't want for it to scar us…”

She sighed. “I know, Nico. Those months were hell but you leaving… Scarred me” she lightly started to hug herself, maybe to have some kind of protection against vulnerability, only that Nico wished to be the one to hug her. “I couldn’t help the thought of everyone I love will eventually leave me cause maybe I’m not worth keeping” She shrugged and looked away.

Nico was left speechless, that was definitely something she hadn’t thought of and it broke her heart into tiny pieces, causing to hate herself even more for leaving. Of course Karolina would think that, after all, her dad left her and her mother when she was 6 and then, her mother just left her with her grandma when she was 8, only cause she had other priorities. She thought of little Karolina, wondering why would her parents just leave her behind. She thought of Karolina as she is, a ray of sunshine that draws smiles on people’s faces and always so enthusiastic and just radiates positive energies all around she goes. And then, she thought of Karolina now, wondering once again why would somebody she loves, leave her again. 

“Karo…” She tried to say.

“That’s okay Nico, I know how bad we were, I’m not blind... It’s not your fault if you wanted to leave and get fresher air to breathe”

“It’s not okay” She got closer to where Karolina was. Sitting again on the couch and trying to look at her and not look away. “...But I want to make it okay”

She turned her head to look at her and her eyes had a deep blue color now. “What do you mean?”

“I want to make it okay” She pouted. 

“It’s not that easy, we can’t do that overnight” She lightly smiled.

“I’m not doing this out of just nostalgia. I’m doing this cause I’ve spent days just thinking about you, nights wishing you were right beside me... Moments in which I thought I would never feel the same way you’ve made me feel. As if I were numb. As if I didn't belong with anyone but with you. I know it took Gert to drag me down here and make this happen but only cause I was grumpy all the time” She shrugged. “With or without Gert’s involvement, I would always come back to you…” The lump in her throat got impossible to swallow this time and her voice broke when she tried to say: “I-I’m sorry” 

Karolina took that as her cue to step in, she stood up and, even though hesitantly, she sat next to Nico and embraced her. “I’m sorry too. I was such a mess and I know that all of this happened because of me” She muttered, her voice weak and buried in Nico’s neck. She pulled back just a little to look at Nico in the eyes and make sure she understands her next words. “I don’t blame you, Nico. I can understand why you did what you did. What matters is that you’re here now and we can work it out” 

Under the candle lights, it was kind of difficult to see clearly but Nico didn’t care about anything else other than Karolina’s blue eyes, they were lighter and honest and so pure that it almost washed away all of Nico’s pain. She saw Karolina smile, that dopey and dorky smile that meant that she felt content and happy, so Nico really couldn’t blame herself when she leaned in and brought theirs lips together. It almost felt like their first kiss, tentative and delicate until she pulled away a little to see Karolina’s face, almost asking for permission or consent but Karolina just leaned in again, this time more aggressive and passionate, as if she wanted to desperately get back those months they spent apart. 

''You truly are amazing'' Nico whispered when they pulled back.

''I know'' Karolina giggled and hugged her so tightly that it was kind of hard to breathe well but Nico didn't care at all, she had Karolina in her arms again. 

The storm kept raging and they only had the candles to light up the room just a bit, Nico could now feel that the night was really cold once all the heaviness and tension left the room, so she just cuddled next to Karolina on the armchair and in one instance, her eyes landed on that damn mug. _No, you're not the light of the world but you shine on me._ Damn, that's accurate, cause this just felt like coming back home.


End file.
